So I’m sitting in this impossibly chic café in Soho last week, the kind with $7 lattes and uncomfortable chairs that somehow still make you want to stay for hours. I’m supposed to be writing about fall boot trends, but instead I’m people-watching—my second favorite professional sport after sample sale sprinting. At the table next to me sits the perfect example of the “clean girl” aesthetic: slicked-back bun, gold hoops, no-makeup makeup, and a neutral capsule wardrobe that probably cost more than my monthly rent. Across the room, a dark academia devotee hunches over Donna Tartt’s “The Secret History” (how on-brand), all tweedy blazer and oxfords with the perfect amount of patina. And by the window? Pure cottagecore energy in a flowy floral dress, handmade-looking cardigan, and what appears to be an actual wicker basket as a purse.
I had this bizarre urge to switch their tables and see what would happen. Would they physically combust if forced to inhabit someone else’s aesthetic space? Or would they adapt, trying on another identity like a borrowed sweater? It got me thinking about something my friend Dr. Marissa Chen, a fashion psychologist I met while working on a piece about retail therapy (which is totally a real thing and not just an excuse I use for my Nordstrom addiction), once told me: “The aesthetics we’re drawn to aren’t random—they’re external manifestations of our internal landscapes.”
That conversation sent me down a rabbit hole that resulted in me texting Marissa at midnight: “EMERGENCY FASHION PSYCHOLOGY QUESTION: Do our style tribes actually reveal something real about us?” Because let’s be honest, I needed to know if my occasional forays into coastal grandmother territory (don’t judge—who doesn’t want to be Diane Keaton in a Nancy Meyers movie sometimes?) were actually telling the world something about my psyche.
Marissa, being the absolute gem that she is, didn’t even question the urgency and instead invited me to her office for what turned into a three-hour deep dive on aesthetic psychology. “Fashion choices are never just about clothes,” she explained, pouring me tea in a mug that perfectly matched her minimalist office decor. “They’re a complex intersection of identity expression, aspiration, cultural positioning, and sometimes even emotional regulation.” I pretended to take professional notes while actually writing “EMOTIONAL REGULATION = MY THERAPY SHOPPING IS VALIDATED” in all caps.
What followed was a fascinating, slightly terrifying exploration of what our chosen aesthetics might reveal about us, which I’m now sharing with you—with the massive disclaimer that this is more playful speculation than hard science. Think of it as a fashion horoscope with slightly more academic backing. And before the emails start flooding in, yes, many people float between multiple aesthetics (hello, weekend cottagecore, workweek minimalist right here), and no, liking dark academia doesn’t automatically make you a brooding intellectual with daddy issues. Probably.
Let’s start with the Clean Girl aesthetic, which has dominated my TikTok feed for longer than I care to admit. All slicked-back buns, glossy lips, gold jewelry, and neutral basics. According to Marissa, this minimalist, highly-curated look often appeals to those who value control and efficiency in their lives. “The person drawn to the clean girl aesthetic typically appreciates order and often feels empowered by simplification,” she explained. “There’s a certain discipline required to maintain that level of put-togetherness that suggests someone who values precision in other areas of their life as well.”
Translation: Clean Girls are likely to have impressively organized Google calendars, meal prep on Sundays, and know exactly where their 401(k) is invested. They’re the friends who somehow always have a lint roller, tampons, and Advil in their perfectly minimal bag. They make adulting look effortless, which is both inspiring and slightly infuriating.
The flip side? “There can sometimes be an underlying fear of mess—both literal and figurative,” Marissa noted. “The aesthetic creates a visual sense of having it all together, which might be particularly appealing during times of internal chaos or uncertainty.” In other words, when life feels like a dumpster fire, at least your perfectly slicked-back bun and immaculate French manicure create the illusion of control.
I felt personally attacked when Marissa suggested that the clean girl aesthetic might also appeal to reformed maximalists who’ve been burned by past fashion choices. As someone with photographic evidence of my early 2000s rhinestone-encrusted phase that I pray never sees the light of day, I understand the appeal of a clean slate. Sometimes neutral basics are less about minimalism and more about fashion PTSD.
Moving on to Dark Academia, that moody intellectual vibe full of vintage-inspired blazers, oxford shoes, pleated skirts, and enough tweed to upholster a British library. Books optional but strongly encouraged as accessories.
“Dark Academia enthusiasts are often romantics at heart,” Marissa explained. “They’re usually drawn to depth, intellectual pursuit, and a certain beautiful melancholy. There’s an appreciation for tradition and craftsmanship, but with a slight rebellious edge—it’s the uniform of education with a hint of the tortured artist.”
In regular person terms: Dark Academia folks are likely to have strong opinions about literature, know how to make the perfect cup of tea, and possibly harbor fantasies about mysterious encounters in ancient university corridors. They probably have a carefully curated Spotify playlist for rainy days and own at least one item of clothing purchased specifically because it made them feel like a character in a book.
“There’s often a desire to connect with something timeless in a world that can feel increasingly transient and digital,” Marissa added. “The aesthetic creates a tangible link to intellectual traditions and slower, more contemplative ways of living.” It’s basically analog nostalgia in wardrobe form.
The shadow side of Dark Academia? Sometimes it’s less about the love of learning and more about the aesthetic of intelligence. “There can be an element of intellectual performativity,” Marissa noted gently, which I took to mean “carrying around Proust doesn’t mean you’ve read it, Karen.” Also, the obsession with elite educational institutions can sometimes veer into problematic territory—something to be mindful of if you’re going full Donna Tartt.
Then there’s Cottagecore, the aesthetic equivalent of a warm hug from your grandmother, if your grandmother lived in a picture-perfect English cottage surrounded by wildflowers and woodland creatures who help her bake sourdough. Flowy dresses, pastoral prints, natural fabrics, and an artisanal approach to, well, everything.
“Cottagecore appeals to those seeking connection—to nature, to simpler ways of living, to more tangible forms of productivity,” Marissa explained. “It often resonates with people who feel overwhelmed by modern life and technology and are seeking a sense of groundedness.”
In my personal translation: Cottagecore devotees are likely to have at least one plant they’ve named, know how to make something from scratch (bread, candles, that macramé wall hanging in their apartment), and have probably fantasized about giving it all up to live in a cabin in the woods. They’re the friends who actually remember your birthday and give you homemade gifts that make store-bought presents seem hollow and meaningless.
The potential downside? “There can sometimes be a problematic romanticization of agrarian life without acknowledgment of its hardships,” Marissa pointed out. “And occasionally, an element of escapism that avoids engaging with contemporary issues rather than addressing them.” In other words, actual farming involves a lot more manure and a lot less frolicking in fields at golden hour than the aesthetic would suggest.
We also touched on other popular aesthetics: Coastal Grandmother (for those who find peace in ina Garten energy and harbor fantasies of retiring to beach communities), Y2K revival (often embraced by those too young to remember the collective fashion crimes we committed the first time around), and Barbiecore (which Marissa suggested might appeal to those reclaiming femininity as a source of power rather than limitation).
The conversation took a more interesting turn when we started discussing aesthetic-hoppers—those of us who can’t commit to a single style tribe. I’m raising my hand here as someone whose closet contains both a prairie dress and leather pants with zero irony about either choice.
“Aesthetic fluidity can actually indicate a healthy relationship with self-expression,” Marissa reassured me. “It suggests an adaptability and willingness to let different facets of your personality take center stage depending on context, mood, or need.” So basically, my inability to stick with a consistent look isn’t fashion ADHD—it’s emotional intelligence expressed through clothes. I’m taking that win.
She did point out one fascinating pattern: many people are drawn to aesthetics that express parts of themselves they feel unable to fully embody in their daily lives. The high-powered executive with secret cottagecore Pinterest boards. The shy literature professor with a closet full of bold, maximalist weekend wear. The chaotic creative with a deep appreciation for the clean girl aesthetic they can’t quite maintain.
“Fashion and aesthetic choices can be a way of trying on different versions of ourselves,” Marissa explained. “They’re safe spaces for identity exploration.” Which explains why my most buttoned-up friend has a secret collection of dramatic black capes she never wears in public, and why I still own a pair of sensible pumps despite working in an industry where they’re practically archaic.
The most valuable insight from our conversation had nothing to do with specific aesthetics and everything to do with intention. “The healthiest relationship with any aesthetic comes when you’re choosing it consciously—when you understand what you’re drawn to about it and what needs it’s meeting for you,” Marissa said. “Problems arise when we adopt aesthetics reflexively, without examining why they appeal to us or what they communicate.”
So where does this leave us, besides with several new justifications for our shopping habits? (Kidding. Sort of.) While it’s fun to analyze what our linen pants or tweed blazers might say about our psyches, the reality is more complex than any aesthetic categorization system could capture. We contain multitudes, as Walt Whitman would say, and so do our closets.
What matters most isn’t which aesthetic you choose, but how it makes you feel. Does slicking your hair back into a clean girl bun make you feel put-together when your life is in chaos? Excellent therapeutic use of bobby pins. Does wrapping yourself in a handmade cardigan help you feel connected to tradition in an increasingly digital world? Cottagecore away, my friend. Does donning a blazer with elbow patches make you feel like the main character in your own intellectual coming-of-age story? Dark academia has a space for you in its wood-paneled imaginary library.
Just remember that aesthetics are tools for expression, not boxes for limitation. The moment an aesthetic feels more like a costume than an authentic extension of yourself, it might be time to reconsider your relationship with it.
As for me, I’ll continue to psychoanalyze strangers in coffee shops based on their outfit choices, with the full understanding that the girl in the clean aesthetic might have a chaotic junk drawer at home, the dark academia devotee might secretly love reality TV, and the cottagecore enthusiast might be a tech executive who’s never baked a loaf of bread in her life. The beauty of fashion is that it tells stories—sometimes accurate ones, sometimes aspirational ones, but always human ones. And that complexity is what keeps me coming back, notepad in hand, people-watching from uncomfortable café chairs while my $7 latte gets cold.